7. Not segmenting data is a crime against humanity.

6. Never let your campaigns write checks that your website can’t cash.

5. I believe God created the internet so we could fail faster.

4. Magazine advertisements are faith based initiatives.

3. All data needs context, even server errors go up and to the right over time.

2. Bounce rate is brilliantly dumb. It shows that your customers came, they puked, they left.

1. Social media is like teen sex, everyone wants to do it. No one actually knows how. When finally done, there is surprise it’s not better.